Being a newlywed has caused me to pause a lot on sharing “advice” because we’re not deep in the game. I don’t feel qualified to give advice, but I can share what I think are major keys before tying the knot. So here it is!

1. Make sure God is at the center of it all

   • Mic Drop! We can really end here. God is everything. Without God at the center, things will be crazy. With that being said make it a habit to pray together. You can still have your personal prayer time, but there’s so much power in 2 coming together(Matthew 18:19-20). Growing closer to God can show you how to be the best partner you can be. I believe God will guide you to do everything from love.

2. Be Friends! Like, make sure you really like each other!

   • Our biggest hurdle at the start of our relationship, was getting over the fact that we were friends for years. I never imagined having an intimate relationship with my friend. However, to be with someone you’re friends with is LIT! Like spending the rest of your life with your homie, lover, friend! MKAY, God! You’re on to something there. So don’t rush the process. Take this dating time to learn each other and become besties. You don’t want to marry a stranger. 

3. Don’t wait until you walk down the aisle for communication to be crucial.

   • Communication is key. Intentional dating is laying the foundation for how your relationship will look. Things don’t just instantly change because you walk down the aisle. My husband and I schedule talk dates with each other. We also schedule marital meetings with a whole agenda to have that line of communication open. Remember, humans are not mind readers so talk!

4. You cannot change each other.

   • Get it out of your head that you can change a person. YOU AIN’T. You could influence their decision making. The way you are could even encourage them to do better. BUT THAT IS IT! Don’t waste your energy trying to make your partner like you. We are all unique individuals. Embrace your similarities and differences.

5. Learn each other’s love language.

   • Take the 5 Love Languages Quiz together. Knowing your partner’s love language will hugely impact your relationship. You all have to understand how to meet each other’s needs. We all receive love differently. You won’t know how to serve your partner if you skip this step. You can download the Love Nudge app if you need help to keep it poppin’!

6. Discuss money!

   • Please, please, please. Have an open and transparent conversation about where you stand: your income, debt, financial goals, concerns, and fears. I strongly believe you and your significant other should agree on finances. Stats show that money is one of the major reasons of divorce. Numbers do not lie, so be open about yours!

7. Keep it Between Y’all

   • I know people like to vent to their friends and family. Buuuut! Your union is sacred, and you cannot allow other people in the mix. (“whispers” even your family). Y’all are on the same team!!! The Bible says leave and cleave(Genesis 2:24). If you all cannot figure out disagreements or mishaps on your own, then you should go to your counselor and/or have designated, MARRIED accountability partners. You want to make sure you have a couple who you know wants the best and will consult with God on y’all behalf.

8. Don’t Skip Pre-marital counseling.

   • Premarital counseling is where you all will learn how to mesh well together. A lot of the points mentioned above will come up in premarital counseling. Your counselor will give you tools to have a healthy marriage. Go in with an open mind and heart. The goal is to have a strong foundation that will hold your marriage. If you don’t know where to start look into SYMBIS. If you are not yet engaged but want to start preparing, pre-marital is still an option!

I hope this helps someone. If you have any more tips for anyone who wants to get married or soon to be married, drop them in the comments below.

As always feel free to share this post with others.

Book Recommendations

Below are books I highly recommend reading together with your partner. Read these and have intentional conversations, even if it’s a tough topic.

Devotionals

Below are devotionals my husband and I have read together and read with our marriage connect group! Take some time at the end of each day to read one of these with your partner.

Loving your wife well

Marriages that last

Choosing Marriage: 7 Choices For Healthy Relationships

Us Against the World: Our Secrets to Love, Marriage, & Family

Money And Marriage

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